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my blog has moved!!! = 2005-08-28 = 1:06 a.m. = please be re-directed to the site below.. (= and those who have linked me, u can update ur links.. note the extra dash behind the "sirp". http://sirp-.blogspot.com exams are over!~ = 2005-08-26 = 9:00 p.m. = im back!~ haha. exams are over!!! but i feel busy as ever. attachment's starting soon! we din haf our last recap clinical lab lesson and im so scared i actually forgot all my skills.. dat my taking BP skills haf dropped. i promise i'll revise before going for work on monday. because of attachment, im going to miss one jap lesson. and the fate of our intermediate4 class remains unknown cos our class is too small to carry on since one of my classmate is going London for studies. ahhhhh.. den wad bout our JLPT?? well, jap test week after next. FREAK! jap tests are so frequent. and den.. sat and sun.. Red Cross called me regarding the workshop i registered for today. it is a camp.. how crap.. there goes my weekend. i found a job as a clinic assistant in this private clinic near my house. chanced upon their notice placed outside their clinic. been wanting to look for a clinic assistant job. i've been called up for an interview and gonna go for training soon. im gonna learn about the medicine and how to assist doctor in procedures. reminds me of win's experiences as a medic, assisting his MO wif procedures. im excited! experiences in hospital and clinic could be different! anyway, the clinic assistant job is only on weekends and some weekday nights. i duno if i would regret getting the job. i would haf lesser time for myself.. but.. i really yearn for the experience.. and probably money.. i wanna save up and haf a nice and fat account.. cos i wanna go travel!! and its good training too.. well.. next week.. got sooooo little time.. attachment and camp. i hope i dun get too tired.. wad makes me sad is our schedules are all different. in fact, totally opposite. arghhh.. well.. its a hectic week ahead. pray hard i'll survive. dreaming~ = 2005-08-15 = 8:25 a.m. = i had a peculiar dream! a super weird dream. i dreamt that it was my first day in hostel in the overseas university. haha. den the new frens i met were so friendly that we were playing some games, talking and having fun together. den after dat, we stopped to go bath to go for dinner. den i started missing home soooooo badly dat i felt like crying. really, i could feel my tears so near the brim of my eyes. felt the kind of.. loneliness that my parents were so far from me.. and den i started thinking of him.. started wondering what all of them were doing without me.. and i felt i havent done enough with them before i left and not prepared to leave them for so long. but obviously its cos it was a dream. den before i could have more of it, i woke up. to think i actually woke up way before my intended time. wanted to wake up at 9am. but i duno if it is because of the dream, i woke up at 8am.. den i lie in bed.. den looked around my room. the dream gave me the im so alone feeling i had to take some time i assure myself it was just a dream. being the usual pig.. i actually couldnt go back to sleep. hmmm...haha.. it feels good to wake up early actually.. and not go back to sleep thinking, '5 more mins'. but end up waking up late and being late. S= ANYWAY, phoebe.. i think i envy u too much. haha.. thinking bout how u getting on over at adelaide. hmm.. my mum wanna thank u for the necklaces!! actually.. i should email u instead of posting message for u right here right? hahaha. i will k? after my exams. AND, pls update ur blog more often will u?? hhaa.. i duno when u will read dis but.. i know u will read dis.. so yupp.. take care.. (= Fireworks = 2005-08-14 = 10:58 p.m. = went to watch the fireworks today! with my family. there was some trouble but did get to see it in the end. went early to book a nice spot. den we were all trying to guess where was the firing point. but in the end the spot we chose wasnt very good.. was partially blocked by this tree. but it was nice.. the fireworks were beautiful especially when they fire many big ones into the sky.. den the crowd will go "wahhhhhhh..." together.. haha.. and i could hear lia squealing behind me, "wahhh..so many!!" haha.. lia's so cute.. after some time.. = 2005-08-14 = 2:29 p.m. = i haven't been blogging.. cos i havent really been thinking much lately.. or rather, i havent been retaining my thoughts lately. haha. just wasnt in blogging mood. anyway, yesterday i was supposed to haf dental. but i postponed it AGAIN cos the tkgirls were meeting to sun tan over at dong's house. how could i miss meeting them to tan right.hahaha. the day before i went to play bball wif beth, shiqi(beth's fren, not tk qi), gus and win. we went to the court near alan's house. played from 1-4.. how intelligent right, where the sun was the hottest. but had lots of fun. i ended up having pink cheeks.. but win was worse.. he was really red and tanned by the sun. which was something he really din want.. hahaha.. d= i concluded i couldnt get tan easily. well.. yesterday's tanning session wasnt really successful too.. at least for me.. my cheeks and back turned slightly red but today, no more tan marks. haha. oh well.. went to meet win to watch The Maid after tanning in the morning. i was startled at certain scenes where the ghost suddenly pops up. but overall it wasnt a scary movie.. not as scary as wad i heard anyway..there was this girl in the cinema who screamed at the slightest change of scene or sound effect. she was the only one screaming or squeaking that it will be den followed by some laughter. haha. crap. yesterday, for the first time, i went tanning. as in to purposely sit and bake in the sun. (sentosa wif tk girls wasnt counted.) for the first time, watched a scary movie wif win. for the first time, i met his frens. for the first time, i made him eat RAW salmon. for the first time, we took bus together. hahaha. sometimes gotta pity win.. cos of me.. he got tanned, he ate raw stuff, he had to carry this super heavy bag shopping around orchard. haha. and many other sacrifices lah. d= but he makes me so embarrassed.. when he craps so much that he makes me laugh til i cant stand up straight. and it seems to always happen while we are shopping. sometimes we will laugh at each other laughing. den we'll start arguing who started laughing first. who made who laugh. hha. nonsense!! well.. but we haf fun together. lots of fun. haha. oh, anyway, i made a blogspot account. i think it's easier to use and most importantly can put pics and colours and other nonsense stuff. but.. i like my present backgroud alot. i havent found a blogskin i like. and i decided to attempt to design my own.. heh. i MUST get a design out by end of my holidays. erh.. but i only can start after exams. which will be followed by attachment. but after attachment i'll haf 1 month and 1 week break!! whee!! im looking forward for that! altho i feel that school has been rather slack these days already.. but its cos there's exams. but after attachment.. is really a BREAK. hhaa.. i shall plan wad to do after exams during attachment. im excited and SCARED for attachment!!! i badly need to ask for an extra lab session to revise all the skills. i think i forgotten how to take BP already. S= okok, after such a long time not blogging. this is quite a long entry. i'll redirect my darling frens to blogspot once it is up ok? til then, take care// charlie and the chocolate factory = 2005-08-05 = 11:08 p.m. = watched charlie and the chocolate factory today. it is funny! haha. oompa lumpaas are damn amusing. super ridiculous. not an in-depth movie.. but a nice movie to just amuse urself wif..hmm.. but the part bout family is quite.. educational. haha. but cos its so exaggerated it kinda loses it depth. but to depict such stuff to kids.. i guess it has its effects. also took a close look at johnny depp for the first time today. den i really wonder why baolun so crazy over him. probably it is the show. he looks rather sinister and psychotic in the movie. but he's playing a very different role from pirates of carribean i guess. dats why. well.. den cheers to his acting? haha. wads wif fridays.. wads wif weekends.. wads wif u.. nothing to hide... = 2005-08-03 = 8:45 p.m. = it doesnt feel good or comfortable to know that so much talk bout u is going on behind ur back and in front of u they seem nochalent. cant blame them, really. but i hope we can really do something bout it. there's nothing to hide. we din want them to talk bout it last time. cos it wasnt the truth. prob they did stopped. but certain stuff will naturally start them talking again. it is human nature. i think i would too if i were them. oh wells. i dun feel comfortable wif that. but there isnt a real problem lah. i must study hard for my exams!! it is not only for myself, parents or him. but most importantly, for the patients i'll be facing in future. i wanna be a good and knowledgeable nurse. (= blogspot? = 2005-07-30 = 11:47 a.m. = i feel like making my blog more interesting. as in, its not just the stuff i write. i wanna put links, pics, wishlist, etc.. actually.. im inspired by dap's blog.. cos its nice and interesting. d= and i sorta think blogspot is easier to use? but.. i cant bear to give up this blog that is like 2yrs of memories..and i duno who checks back, but den again, i can just direct them to the other blog. i think the main reluctance is that SIRP has been used up in blogspot. so i cant use sirp.blogspot.com. but its like all my stuff is sirp.. den i like it that way.. oh well.hahaha. and i cant think of any other names. i went to sirp.blogspot.com.. the last entry was dec04!!! he or she has decided to stop blogging and said goodbye.. haha. oh well..i wouldnt want her readers to come read my blog anyway. so til i find a nicer name, i shall stick to this first. haha. shopPinG!~ = 2005-07-29 = 10:48 p.m. = i think im not fated wif skirts. i nv really gotten any skirts i like. went shopping wif beth and gus on tues.. walked around far east and taka.. saw quite a few nice stuff here and there.. bought a dress from far east dats only $10..i din regret that buy. den i finally found a skirt at zara dat i like alot!! $39.90.. but i still bought it anyway cos i like it alot. i tried a green one. and it fitted fine. but i took a blue one of the same size cos i let gus have the last green one. but when i got home.. it was terribly loose. bleahs. so i went back to change.. they din haf any more smalls for the skirt. to think i found a skirt i like so much after so long.. sobx. changed for another skirt which i dun like that much. but well.. its still nice.. altho a little transparent and simple. even mum say it aint worth the same price.. oh wells.. but im in a shopping mood! when i went back to zara to change the skirt, i went to topshop to haf a look, and found that some of their accessories were having half price!! haha. i love topshop accessories.. very nice.. dat time when i was there wif jilun, i was deciding between an orange necklace and a blur bracelet. he got me the blue bracelet cos he said it was nicer. den the orange necklace was on half price when i was there myself!! so i got it! haha. its really nice!! d= no time no time = 2005-07-24 = 2:38 p.m. = i drew up my study plan just now.and im kinda terrified now..cos even if i keep to my plan, i wun be able to finish studying all the topics in time. wads more, i usually fall behind my plans. CRAP. im planning to forgo some of the topics already. esp bio sci. the lecturer literally told us the question coming out for the last 2 topics.. he gave LOADS of hints i tell u.. i think he understands our misery. haha. well.. but nursing science is sad case man.. i cant seem to squeeze all the topics into a mth. BLEAHS. there are like 3 modules of nursing science!! sighs. and den, i realised.. that i've got japanese mid-terms a wk before my exam week. ahhh.. how sad right. i only put aside the day itself to revise for it. S= well, i think if i pay attention in jap class, which i swear i always do, and do my hw faithfully, which i also always do.. i should be able to pass it. but i doubt i would score for this mid terms.. no time no time!! well.. i duno why im here blogging. but had to take a break after mapping out the study plans. haha. i need somewhere to grumble about my desperation for time. eeks! oh.. and i've got malay test tmr. written. im contemplating of giving up on it. but i'll be wasting the A i got for the presentation. but there is no last minute's buddha's leg for me to hug for languages lohhh.. well.. let's see how my lousy memory can help me thru tmr. ahhhh.. and not forgetting i've got 2 ICA presentations coming up next 2 wks. got meetings and interview to do! FREAKS. save me. aNyWay.. my parents are coming back TODAY!! haha. whee. they will be ariving at 6.45. with delays and stuff like that, i think i'll be starved while waiting for them to come home to have dinner together at bout.. 7.45-8.00? lalala.. just now i saw that samuel and kevin was having sales!! really low prices. if i din see wrongly, tops at $5, bottoms at $16. im praying that within these few hrs of waiting for my parents to come back, the stuff wun get swept clean. ahhh.. maybe i should go take a look at wad stuff they haf now and grab them before they are gone.. ahhh.. sighs. nvm. shall be more sane. if its meant to be mine, i'll get it. haha. finally walked around causeway point for the first time yesterday.. after being suaned at by beth for a number of times for not even knowing where it is. haha. its big and nice to shop. saw this pair of slippers at bata which was very comfortable!! but its $39.90. den i felt that i should think twice. haha. but i dun haf slippers... shall see. i've been in a shopping mood. its dangerous for me to go near any shopping centres wif my wallet. hahaha. but i dun purchase things anyhow lah. i'll still be sane enough to think before i spend on anything. i haven't been buying anything. so yesh, my self-control's still working. and cos i cant forget that i just paid jap fees so my bank account's is hungry and gonna starve soon. haha. well, okie.. i think i did enough of my grumblings. i know im FAR beta off then my dear frens who are mugging away for their As. im sure they will do well. oh yes, went out wif the TK girls yesterday for lunch. went to eat vegetarian. haha. weird right? gathering go eat vegetarian. but cos ya was on a 40-day vegetarian diet. so we had vegetarian lunch wif her. den they were discussing about going overseas for a holiday after their As. whee! but.. it also means that i need to save up badly. they were like thinking of australia to buy roxy stuff. but they tot of more affordable getaways like thailand and genting too. haha. oh well.. i gotta go check out my breaks and let them know. so dat we can confirm plans for it. for now, we'll all mug and look forward to time together again. til the next time we meet. (= first church service = 2005-07-23 = 10:24 p.m. = i tot i could just write about my first church service i attended. it is not a first time i stepped into church.. or attend some church function. i went to a performance organised by my snr's church, went to stee's church to see her performance, even went for some camp organised by a church.. to be honest, im not a pro-christian. but neither am i against it. i was nv against it and respected it. i just dun really like being preached at. so my close frens, who happens to be mostly christians, din really preach to me bout GOd too much. but i listened when they talked bout Him and how He helped them and things like dat. pple like gwen.. win.. anyway, today's church service that i went.. it's baptism night.. so i saw how pple were baptised.. and listened to one of their testimonials.. how God changed theirs lives.. its cool, really. i duno if i would go to church service again. see how. haha. life without my parents = 2005-07-22 = 10:56 p.m. = i miss my parents. but i dun deny i've been quite enjoying the freedom i haf these days. d= my aunt comes up every night to accompany me. and she washes the clothes and mopped the floor for me before she goes home to do her stuff. how nice right??? den i feel kinda bad dat she tires herself out running up and down between amk and mp, taking care of 2 homes. S= grandma came to stay wif me for a night. den we occupied my parents' bed. actually i've been going school and busy wif school.. dat everyday flew by.. 10 days gonna really pass quite quickly. haha. 2 more days! hmm.. i really cant wait to see them on sunday.. but i dun deny i cant wait to see wad they bought back too. d= greedy pig. hahaa.. and i dun deny too.. dat win made me feel less lonely.. he's been accompanying me alot and spending time wif me. haha. thanks..hmm.. wad i said is an understatement of his efforts.. but u know i mean more den just a "thanks", right win? (= anyway, today i took my clinical lab practical test. i prepared for it. but im kinda disappointed wif my results. i wanna score.. but the module is kinda hard to score! sighx. nvm.. i'll do beta for theory to pull my marks up. im starting to feel the urgency for my exams a mth later. started my intermediate 3 jap lessons on thurs. its more ex..tougher.. and 3times the hw!! sobs. but im not even near to giving up. haha. gave it up once. not gonna do it again. gambatte!~ d= its fun! = 2005-07-16 = 10:03 p.m. = yesterday after school, me, beth and win went kbox. win was supposed to drive there. but he did something too intelligent.heh. we ended up taking cab there. so ex! should haf just taken mrt.. but had fun in kbox.. me and beth trained yuan dian. repeated that song soo many times.. trained it for almost 2 hrs before win came to join us after settling wad his intelligence caused. hahaha. den gus and jer joined us and we went to our hse. erhh.. but jer went home before he actually came up to my hse. i cooked mushroom omelette and salmon and bought bbq chicken wings for them. oh yes, had campbell soup too. and it aint my fault it was lumpy.. not stirred well.. ahem haha. den basically we just slacked and pigged out at my hse. was supposed to watch titanic but everyone fell asleep even before the first cd finished. haha. too comfortable and tired i guess. d= oh.. francis, my sec3-4 maths tutor called me! haha. like super outta the blue right. and guess wads the first thing he said, "i treat u to macs tmr ok?" hahaha. i tot i heard wrongly. but turned out cos he needed my name for the straits times draw to win the car. hahaha. he asked gwen too. so me and gwen decided to be nice and do him a favour. it was nice to meet her anyway and to extort a treat from the ngiao francis. and we realised dat his life has changed quite abit.. he found himself a nice and patient girlfriend..hahaha.. he was blushing when me and gwen asked him bout it. haha. den me and gwen agreed dat he become less aunty, more considerate and caring, blah.. hahaha.. interesting.. my aunt came up wif dinner for me today! homecooked meal.. yummy.. not to forget she's a great cook.. erhh.. so i erh.. dun deny that her cooking is beta den dad's .haha.. so i enjoy dinner more.. X= but well.. the effort that my dad put in cooking dinner.. i do appreciate it. (= missing my parents.. adelaide bound they go... = 2005-07-14 = 10:04 a.m. = my parents flew off last night. together with my childhood friend phoebe..i sent them off at the airport last night.. i guess everyone seemed quite happy.. but when i was talking to my mum i felt like crying. haha. im missing my parents alot.. all of a sudden.. life without them.. some tell me it's freedom and dat i should be happy. morever they are enjoying themselves and i should feel happy for them. nonetheless.. altho i feel im able to handle things myself and dat im perfectly ok living by myself. and true that i can haf freedom to go anywhere and go out for meals and dinners.. but still.. the house is empty. oh well.. i'll be counting down to the day they come back: 10days! anyway, happy birthday blog. hahaha. 3 days = 2005-07-10 = 1:20 p.m. = its only 3 days away.. to this blog's 2yr's birthday. haha. sounds stupid? anyway.. its also 3 days away to my parents' australia trip.. 12days without them.. i'll be missing them alot alot.. i hope they enjoy themselves.. my mum being kinda anti-social.. duno if she'll really enjoy the 12 days or not.. oh well.. haha. asked mum for permission to being my frens over for a stayover on friday! im so looking forward to it!! after school we'll go shopping.. den we'll go to my house and slack and haf fun! den sat.. we might continue wif something.. see how much energy we haf left. heh. yayyy.. can FINALLY find time to go shopping together wif beth and gus. they've been bugging me to find a day to shop.. esp beth who keeps whining that she wants her craft shoes. haha. and win and jer will come along too!! yayy! i promise they wun just be carrying stuff.. hahaa.. waste my time.... haha.. so dumb. = 2005-07-02 = 12:36 p.m. = i went to POSB.. and took my queue number. the queue was so long! i was number65 and the queue was at 42?? so i went to walk around.. and when it finally reaches my turn.. and i wanted to open an account.. they told me i already have an account with them. haha. how blur right?? dat i've got a POSB account and i forgot bout it. but me and my mum tot we closed it.. and there's money in it! feels like all of a sudden pick up money. hahah.. it's all my pay i earned when working at mac's.. and dat was when i was sec 3!! so this account has been open, money untouched for.. 3 yrs! haha.. well done. i found the passbook at home in some drawer with all the other old expired passbooks. wasted my time and effort going down and waiting for the stupid queue. but now maybe i'ld go another time to get the atm card for it.. but the thing i dun like bout POSB atms are.. they always haf long queues.. oh well.. but i think i'ld continue using my OCBC lah.. den save up POSB for.. future. i'ld just transfer a small sum over to OCBC each mth.. i need to eat.. haha.. and bout the job at ig's.. well.. i duno.. hmm.. should i go take my driving lessons?? but no car. learn now for wad right. but.. it's a skill mah.. but.. i think im busy enough as it is.. i dun wanna get below B for any tests or exams or ICAs in school.. only As and Bs is expected of me.. so far still ok.. hope i'ld do beta.. and im still having fun at jap.. altho i seriously think i need to do something so that i'ld have more confidence in using the language.. maybe i should try writing journal in jap. hahaha. good practice eh. good idea. d= just write a few sentences bout wad i did in the day. cool. let's see if i would even start doing.. and even if i start.. lets see how long it goes. hahaha. i din forget im to go jogging next week too.. i muz not be such a pig! sponsorship.. = 2005-07-02 = 10:03 a.m. = thanks for understanding me.. thanks.. (= thanks for being willing to listen.. to understand.. and to accept. i need to find 2 sureties for my sponsorship. if i cant find them.. i wun be sponsored. S= so my sponsorship isnt very confirmed yet. its like.. the sureties gotta be above 21 and below 50, earning at least $2500/ mth.. blahh.. well.. at least my dad managed to find 2 sureties already. he just called to tell me. haha. so now i need to go open a bank account wif POSB. ahhhhh.. hope the bank haven't closeee.. look me up in NUH = 2005-07-01 = 9:58 p.m. = i received the letter for my sponsorship! that managed to put a smile on my face for awhile when i opened the letter. but my overall mood now.. is kinda down. oh well.. but i am really relieved i got the bond.. so are my parents. (= its only 2 mths since everything started. started fast, ended fast. oh well.. can someone tell me wads wrong wif me? = 2005-07-01 = 9:49 p.m. = all of a sudden..i find that all that we talked are all crap. we decided to stay where we are.. decided to take this time to know each other better. i tot u really understood and respected me.. maybe i was wrong. u wanted something more.. and now.. u wanna take a step backwards. im in no right to ask u not to.. u wun wait for anyone.. u r tired.. oh well.. maybe u din like me dat much after all.. yeah.. things haf changed.. why did they haf to.. do u actually know how im feeling? do i know how u r feeling anyway. sigh. wad we are afraid of has come hasnt it.. u had to gif me up.. but i could ask no promises from u. i dun deny i like u.. but im not ready to get tied down.. so i guess.. let things be where they are.. whee! = 2005-06-29 = 8:09 p.m. = test and presentations are over! haha. whee! things are going well.. learnt to be true to myself. i like it when we talk.. and resolve things.. and understand each other.. and learn things.. haha. dun move back, dun move front.. stay where we are.. for u and for me.. haha. hmm.. decided to rebond my hair again dis sat. haha. the roots getting on my nerves. and i'll see if i would dye my hair..hmm.. wad colour should i do if i do colouring? should i just highlight or dye or both?haha.. sat and i'll haf nice hair! study study study = 2005-06-24 = 9:42 a.m. = haven't been blogging. hmm.. cos i duno wad has been happening lately. or do i? haha. but anyway, this week's study week.. so i guess there ain't much to say also right? haha. but the sad thing is i think i studied kinda little. S= ohhhhh! i traded in my classical guitar and got the acoustic guitar that win had. whee! thanks to him for bargaining for me.. haha.. it was on tues we went to peninsula to get my guitar. haha. before that he brought me to this place in siglap to haf lunch! the place had a nice ambience, nicely did up. it was steamboat and the way the food is served.. damn nice! haha. i've got lousy description skills and im not gonna start promoting that place here. but i enjoyed going there for lunch.. we had the whole restaurant to ourselves loh. how cool right. d= hmm.. started work at ig's again. i guess it ain't too bad.. wasn't as bad as i expected at least. but prob cos.. there were very few people. was talking to my parents that day, den they were suggesting writing to the clinics to get a job as a clinic assistant. they say can get experience. and i wun haf so much trouble of trying to memorise all the stuff in ig's when i work there not very often. i dun feel like a good worker.. and i dun like the feeling even if my bosses dun scold me. NS is such a crappy time.. haha. one wun haf time for himself.. it was damn wasted when he could finally talk and i wasnt free!! dumb. haha. but there'll be chance..! (= aaron = 2005-06-19 = 11:29 a.m. = he gave me such a pleasant surprise.. i tot he wouldnt wish me.. cos i din see his sms at 12.. when he is one whom will sms at 12.. he did it on purpose.. den funnily he smsed me in the morning to ask if i was at home. haha. he himself said it's such a giveaway.. but i really wasn't expecting.. such a big.. nvm. haha. well, he did wad he said he hoped to do since last time.. and den.. he made me cry.. it meant so much to me..wad he said over the phone.. the last part.. thanks aaron.. i love your presentS.. happy fathers' day to daddies! happy birthday to me! = 2005-06-19 = 10:34 a.m. = it is a damn nice feeling when the smses start coming in at 12.. and u see unexpected people wishing u bdae.. and im so surprised they remembered.. im touched, really.. (= den the ironic thing is that the one u hope will remember forgets.. haha.. and it's the 2nd yr she forgot.. so blur.. and she was still like talking to me online.. but that was a very nice bdae present from her already.. to be able to meet her online to talk til 2am++.. how often do we get such a chance?? and we're meeting on wed!!! and we'll study. haha. i miss her so much.. last night while talking to her, i became so happy and high.. dat i was trying to contain my laughter til my stomach hurt! cos mum was sleeping behind me so i had beta not wake her up. haha. even win say he nv seen me so high before.. gwen.. do u see ur powers? haha. anyway, last night met yanqing and LJ for dinner. went swensens and we ate til so full.. thanks LJ for the treat!!! he's so nice.. for the past 2 yrs, he's been bringing me and yq out for a meal in june. he says he only celebrate bdae for 5 of his students. and me and yq are 2 of them. how honoured right?? he say cos we're the few who are still in contact wif him after so long. come to think of it.. we went obs like in sec 3.. 4 yrs ago!den he say he can sign guest in and we can use the rock wall and go kayaking. a pity cant use the climbing stuff.. dat time obs me and yq din complete.. cos of me lah.. but still.. me and yq will still go and haf fun in pulau ubin! haha. but.. probably end of the yr lah. haha. after her A's. wahh... i really cant wait.. the memories of obs. wahhh.. fun!! and embarrassing. hahaa.. i still remember the tang yuan.. d= okie, set, i shall join pari rovers. (= the tkgals encourage me too.. cos its a new and nice experience.. and this comes first hand from qi.. she say she slept so near the stars when she climbed kota tinggi.. the way she described.. ahhhhh.. whee! but altho win left my number at their door for me, they still haven't called back.. i shall go and check tmr since im going back to school. im cant finish counting my blessings.. too many! = 2005-06-18 = 4:17 p.m. = baolun is such a sweeeeeeet fren.. i went for the interview for the sponsorship this morning! i duno if it went well.. but the interviewer looked quite fierce.. S= the first thing she asked me was to tell her about myself.. like how would i know wad to say? but i just crapped bout myself.. i tried my best to give TYS answer.. but i really duno wads TYS answer lah actually.. haha.. she also asked questions like how can i convince her that they should give me the sponsorship. how can i convince her i'll not give up and drop out halfway (since i dropped outta college). how can i convince her that i will be able to cope(since i couldn't cope in college). S= aiyoh.. but.. its over.. so i shan't think about it anymore.. i just hope for the best.. and i keep checking my hp.. haha.. u are unique.. u are who u are.. u are not him.. i'm clear of that now; im really treating u as u.. trust me ok? when i count my blessings.. u can be sure u r counted.. (= = 2005-06-17 = 7:52 p.m. = thanks to tkgals..i've got another new top from nike! haha. and a handbag! but again, im so tired from all those walking about.. haha.. and im still very full from lunch that im skipping dinner. all those walking about din manage to help digest the buffet we had. finally i ate yukinoyaki! but i din try the ice cream thing. nontheless, i enjoyed the company of the tkgals.. i think we were being super noisy.. talking bout malu times we had.. all the silly things we did.. we even requested 'the person' to change the cd cos they din really like machi's songs.. hahaa.. i met cheryl(mj) at cine! been like a yr since she left mj.. and it was good both of us could recognise each other. haha.. she still look very much the same.. and den while talking to her, met jilun as well.. how small is the world right. but.. i think for jilun.. town means cine.. hahaa.. but den again.. me too.. im always going to cine for movies and kbox.. heh. and i was so so so intelligent on my way home just now..i cant stand myself..just too smart.i think such malu stuff is beta left unsaid. haha.. the interview's tmr!!!!! i'll slp early tonight.. hopefully i wun feel so bloated soon.. so that i can haf a good slp.. i'll try preparing myself for the interview.. like imagine wad questions they might ask me.. i really hope i do get the sponsorship.. but.. NHG.. means i might be posted to NUH.. which is like how far.. but i've got straight bus.. oh well.. CGH hasn't called me.. i wonder why.. but i heard not very good stuff bout CGH.. something like they are always getting complaints.. over wad i dun really know.. ooh well..haha.. i'll be meeting uall soon! = 2005-06-17 = 10:51 a.m. = ahhhh.. im really so happy.. seeing all the tags.. i really thought uall forgot bout my blog..haha.. i promise i'll make this effort to be more involved in our frenship. i know i haf been really laid back.. but uall are so far from me! close at heart we'll be yeah? ver blogged something that's quite true.. instead of just catching up.. we should try to be involved in each other's lifes.. that's the way for a deep and long-lasting frenship? hmm...yesterday's shopping with aub was nice..but my legs and feet were hurting. haha. i bought a toga top! buying something without mum really feels different.. i duno if its a good or bad feeling. d= haha. i think good? haha.. den i was a good girl. woke up at NINEam to do some work. cos i'll be going out soon. so i should study a little first. hahaaa.. so guai right.. i'll study at night too! actually im starting to feel some sense of urgency.. cos biosci has so much to cover.. and i've got jap test next week! ahhh.. i'll see wad i can do. haha. failed class outing.. we'll try again. = 2005-06-16 = 10:32 a.m. = last night it as supposed to be class outing.. to steamboat at marina bay.. my class has 25? and i was expecting at least 10 to turn up.. but it ended up wif the usual group of us only.. 7 of us.. it was quite a quiet night.. din haf the mood to eat much or anything like that. it was really just cook and eat.. but.. i din really cook.. cos there was always food in my bowl.. haha.. i was trying to finish them loh. well.. but it was a nice time wif them.. and i had fun at arcade! but i din get to play daytona.. no time.. another time perhaps. hah.. but i played bishi-bashi (is that wad it's called?) and went further den i usually would!! it is either that computer is very lousy dat we can beat it.. or.. i play too many times. hahaa.. we had like 5 more games to complete everything loh.. wasted. haha. next time next time. heh. oh.. can tell win played bomberman alott.. i think i derive more fun watching him play den playing it myself. he used only one coin and i used like.. 3? and i still kept dying. S= so later decided not to waste money and just watch him play. im not gonna learn the game.. i told him i would.. but now i think i wouldnt.. cos im not her. im so sad i cant meet gwen today.. but meeting aub makes me happy too! hope we haf a nice time shopping later. she and her shopping nonsense.. i mean.. i also like to shop.. but the way she puts it is like.. if u dun shop u are not a girl kinda thing. haha. i'll still watch my wallet. i promise to go shopping for skirts and slippers/shoes wif beth.. quizzes again. haha. = 2005-06-14 = 10:39 a.m. =
FINALLY = 2005-06-14 = 9:58 a.m. = they finally called me for interview!!! haha. NHG called me last night at about 8.30! so interview's this sat,18 june. hahaha. if i get the sponsorship, it'll be the best birthday present of the year. wad a nice timing right? talking bout nice timing, i think it's really a wonderful timing for jilun to receive letter from NTU confirming his engineering student status on his birthday itself. haha. wad coincidence right? haha. wheeee.. im so excited and scared at the same time about the interview. and finally, he said everything. no need to be feigning ignorance anymore. and probably less frustration for him too. haha. i guess its easier for both of us? i think he and jer can shake hands. i think the pris-tigious ang zhang bird group of us.. is funny. haha. i think there are other words to use other den funny but.. oh well.. haha.. and i realised i forgot to blog bout the nice time i had wif my grandma at the chalet. only me and her stayed over for the chalet for the first night. den the next morning we just like chat.. haf some grandma-granddaughter time. im glad i always practise my cantonese, can communicate beta wif her. hahaha. well, den she told me that i look like her when she was about my age last time. haha. she say her frens saw my picture or saw me, told her so and den she realised. haha. and we took a very nice picture together. i was damn happy when she was like, "aiyah, been waiting for u to ask, of cos we should take picture together" when i ask her to take pic wif me. haha. den she told me that my english bdae, which is 19june, is the same bdae as guanyin. so cool right. haha. den she said dat me and her.. is you3 yuan2 ren2(fated people?haha.). i was so touched when she said dat!! dam dam dee dee = 2005-06-13 = 11:38 a.m. = daphne's right, i havent been updating. and i havent been going online too. haha. cos my comp was used to burn vcds. and finally the project's over. hahaaa.. i should blog bout monday. haha. i'll recollect my memories of that day. kbox wif my some of my classmates was FUN! haha. i think we were kinda high. even stood on the sofa to sing. den we did yamseng and dripped our drink all over the place. haha. den we sang dou jiang you tiao all together, 7 of us, swaying together. haha. can u imagine how spastic we looked? oh.. den we had vanessa opening her golden mouth and sing a song. cos we locked the guys outta the room. heh. den we forced jer to sing too. hehh. after dat we went back to school. we played bball while waiting for those to finish their elective. cos we were planning to go dinner at newton. 5 of us - win, ivan, jer, beth and i went to newton for dinner. it was a really nice time having dinner and crapping.. but i ended up going home late. sigh. guilty. not a good girl dat day. and i was supposed to run errands for my parents. den ended up having to run around to get things done. my legs ached for a few days. haha. shows how little i haf been exercising. d= but great thanks to win dat i got everything done. thanks for running wif me. haha. den.. there was club crawl on thurs.. and i still havent really decided wad cca to join.. sigh. i've got a feeling i'll end up in band. but it'll be orchestra loh.. i duno if i like it.. and they got combine practices on saturdays.. coming all the way back to school on a saturday..... sian. haha. den i wanted to join pari rovers or adventure club. but i realised i din put my name down for it. cos beth kept saying we could go back on fri which obviously we didn't. ahhh.. wad should i join? ohh.. the band is going overseas for competition this yr.. how cool right.. i wanna go overseas!! aiyoh.. see why i think i'll end up in band. heh. but i wanna get some other experiences.. like outdoor experiences.. so cool.. ahhh.. how how how? friday had chalet wif my family. all of us laughed til we had stomachache. thanks to my eu and wil. full of nonsense. haha. and it was a really pleasant surprise that they got a cake. cos i didn't really treat it as a celebration for my bdae. the next day, cpf colleagues came over. but it was quite a flop. ended up playing playstation the whole day. den in the room, no one seemed to be talking. or no one seemed to wanna talk. and the worse thing was no one was staying over. except probably sianghong. but since no one was staying over, he didnt stay over too. so i called my classmates to come over. and GREAT thanks to beth and win.. i had company for the night and din waste the chalet. so it was a 3-person chalet. like its just the 3 of us. haha. and we had fun!! we finished up the leftovers for the bbq of the previous night. we told ghost stories.. and beth was so scared. haha. we even took down the mirror and covered the tv. hahaha. den we chatted and listened to beth talking bout her family.. it was a really nice time.. den we played ddr.. and i was so lousy lah.. kept failing. bleah. but at last i cleared that stupid song. like after duno how many tries. but win did it in one try. bleah. and beth had like grade AA!!! the previous night my family played.. the highest was only a C. haha. how lousy. den early in the morning we went jogging. i love the beach!! just standing there, enjoying the sea breeze, a damn nice feeling. a nice atmosphere for a nice chat.. to talk.. bout heart stuffs. haha. but i felt really guilty when win said i betrayed his trust. sigh. cos of some stuff lah. den i realised.. that this clique.. of me, win, beth and jer.. and gus too. we haf fun together.. but we're not just frens on the surface. we open up and talk bout heart stuff to each other. probably not together but one to one loh. i find it quite cool.. compared to the frenship i have wif other groups of frens like.. cpf colleagues or even the 5-of-us in tk. there's this kinda depth in our frenship that's lacking in my cpf colleagues and tkgang. im not really expecting from cpf frens lah. i think the way we are now is nice enough. just go out and all. all along i felt that the frenship i had wif tkgang was kinda surface. none of us really opened up. and we din really understood each other. but i tot i was the only one feeling so. im so glad last night i spoke to ver online. realised certain stuff. i nv tot she would feel this way. but i guess there's a certain limit.. dat one gets tired.. and find that probably no one cares at all.. is it necessary to haf a meaning in frenship? i guess its cos we were expecting alot from the frenship.. of like 6yrs.. den as we drift apart.. oh wells.. actually i nv really felt part of them. cos we nv really had dat understanding of each other. we merely just like go out and crap.. den after dat, dats it, kinda thing. even mum could tell we arent that close. its nice to know someone else is sharing the same sentiments as me, i dun feel so childish or selfish.. im snacking away right now. haha. cos bought so much snacks for chalet.. den got like a whole big bag left over. its tempting me so much. probably i shall go for a jog later.. cos i wanna go to the beach.. love it.. 1st time.. = 2005-06-05 = 11:37 a.m. = for the first time, aaron told me he cant help but smile when he read my blog. for once, he doesnt feels weird, upset, worried or something when he reads it. i remember i used to keep telling him not to read my blog cos it seems to upset him quite a bit. haha. it was nice talking to him yesterday online. it was the way he told me stuff.. dat din make me defensive. before dat he din bother how he wanted to tell me something. din bother how he was conveying himself to me. most of the time it backfired and got me kinda angry and upset. and i guess he still din get his point across well. i still remember those smses.. where we talked bout this quite some time back. im glad we did, u know? for the first time, i went shopping wif jilun yesterday. haha. we did wad we planned. bought qy bdae present, bought books he wanted, bought MY bdae present, and his, of cos. haha. wad amused me was the number of frens he met in orchard. almost everywhere he went he met someone he knew. his officer, his schoolmate, even his cousin! i only remember seeing my aunty dat im so not close to. i dun even know if she can recognise me. haha. well, i like the bracelet i chose!!! haha. but its like quite ex.. $23.. i was supposed to find a top.. but somehow i couldnt make up my mind on anything. so in the end i chose this bracelet from topshop. its really nice. i wouldnt buy it for myself though. haha. cos its so ex.. well.. den he chose a top from topman. a pity they dun haf M, so he got S. hope he doesnt regret it too much. we should haf asked if other outlets had it.. orchard has more den one topshop definitely. S= tmr, i need to buy yq's bdae present. and jasper's and ling ling's bdae present. can u see how broke i am? i need to start working soon again. S= dun be lazy priscilla!!! actually i realised that nothing happened. we are just fond of thinking too much. and think that something's gonna happen, or is happening. haha. nothing's wrong wif pigs. hmm.. well.. but it also shows how similar our thoughts are. haha. kinda amusing. i'll cherish everything.. (= = 2005-06-03 = 11:52 p.m. = i cant wait for monday! haha. gonna go kbox wif some of my classmates. heh. monday got no school cos coincidentally our lessons on that day are elessons. haha. so we decided to go klunch. whee! den after dat we're going to walk around abit and den haf dinner at newton. (= fun-filled day. haha. been quite long since i last went out i think. *pat my own back* haha. next week is last week of scool.. den i'll have my 2-weeks break! maybe i shall list out my plans, den u can see why im so looking forward to next 2 weeks. haha. its supposed to be study break, there are exams after the break. but its my bdae. i cant help but wanna go out. so i try to arrange everything on the first wk of hols. last wk of school, which is next week: and the following week; first wk of break: and right after dat.. i'll study for my tests and not go out. celebrated enough..haha. of cos.. i'll be studying for the next 2 weeks too.. just that i've got lotsa stuff going on as well. so not as much lah. wheee.. i feel so lucky. many frens to celebrate my bdae wif me. even if it ain't on that day. haha. my 18th birthday.. (= and after i turn 18.. i wanna get bike license.. so that i can fetch myself to and from school. cos i wun be able to afford a car. haha. but i doubt i'll ever get a bike license. cos my mum obviously wouldn't allow. even my classmates are like telling me i beta listen to my mum too cos i only child. and of cos i also do understand my parent's worries. winfred ask me to go take driving license. he'll be more den happy to let me drive myself home. for once he can rest and not take the wheel. but like wad he said, when u just got ur license, u'll always wanna take the wheel. den when u got sick of it, u'll wanna let someone else do it. haha. obviously if there's someone to fetch u.. to be driven, why not right? hahaha. that's being spoilt. d= but.. of cos, u will wanna take the wheel when u r fetching pple like ur parents. cos u simply want them to relax. (= okiee.. i shall go sleep now and wake up early tmr.. do some work, den probably i'll be going to shop for presents. last time it seems hard to find someone wif june bdae. all of a sudden, so many pple's bdae seem to fall on june. haha. even my mum has 4 colleagues having bdae in june. and they'll be arranging a dinner. and they are asking me along. haha. thanks to my mum.. always talking bout me in front of them, they feel like they know me. haha. oh well.. mum say they are quite a fun bunch, see how loh.. see if i'll go dinner wif them.. but still, feels weird eh? haha. i'll be a nurse. a good nurse. = 2005-06-02 = 11:20 p.m. = i passed my clinical lab practical test! but i've got totally no confidence with my theory. i think i concentrated too much on my practical. i tot i was so prepared for the practical.. but i din score well.. crap lah. i'll learn from it.. i shall make a promise here.. to myself.. that i'll lock up my heart.. dun pass me the key to it til im ready. dun ask me when im ready. the right person will find the key and let me know when i am. til den.. leave me alone. leave my heart alone. all i care now, is my studies. but please, im still human with feelings. i'll ponder over stuff.. but trust me i'll stay clear of trouble i think i've been doing well.. anyway, dun scold me when im pondering over stuff.. cos thinking and reflecting is part of growing up. if u wanna help me, stay by me and listen to me.. im not talking to anyone in particular here. not referring to anyone. any fren of mine.. just be wif me, we'll grow together. (= i've been a good girl.. jilun's been quite a good fren, reminding me from time to time, keeping me in check. i feel like he's some far away penpal. only sms. haha. i only remember chatting on the phone wif him once. haha. and dats like kinda long ago. recently, especially today, i was thinking about God. about christianity. and den i realised.. that the people i really become close to are christians. gwen, aaron, jilun.. and winfred's becoming quite a fren too. he taught me some stuff. and together we see things from rather same and deep perspectives. he reminds me of aaron, and at the same time reminds me of gwen. but to be fair, he's just winfred, of cos. haha. guitar guitar guitar!!! = 2005-05-27 = 8:16 p.m. = i had fun today!!! school ended about 2, den we went to play bball for awhile. quite sian lah.. everyone was rather lax cos most of them playing are the non-bball pple.. haha.. not like im very good but i enjoy playing wif the pro pple abit more. but i know they sorta give me lotsa chances even when i foul. i dun really know the game well.. but i have fun. the only thing i scared is i make them not enjoy the game. but.. only one of the non-pro one not too bad lah. S= haha. there's this beng who is plain despo. and he doesnt know wads sincerity. crappy. haha. anyway, wad i enjoyed most was playing guitar and singing songs at the stadium where we slacked quite abit before going home. haha. damn fun!! and it felt damn good when i could play and sing the "when u say nothing at all". haha. and of cos it felt good when jeremy asked me to continue playing when i stopped cos it was nice. hahaaa.. damn fun! im gonna master guitar. wheeee. i was using winfred's new guitar. cant believe he actually went to peninsular immediately after school to get the guitar. im such a good influence. to influence him pick up guitar again. haha. it was cos of tong hua lah.. anyway, his guitar is damn nice!! and i've decided to change guitar. as in, im trying to sell my guitar and get another, new or 2nd-hand. cos i realised his strings are nearer to each other and its MUCH easier to play. i realised why i haf been struggling all these while.. i could bar wif his guitar loh!! and it really makes me heartache to know i spent so much on my guitar. sigh. but nvm, i shan't get cheated again. it was really damn fun. jeremy, winfred and i can yan jiu guitar together. exchange scores wif each other and things like dat. haha. wheee!! a real motivation to practise my guitar. den jeremy suggested coming together to play as a band. its my dream to be able to form a band. really. to sing, even compose our own songs! whether its them i duno lah.. but.. if its possible.. woah!!! haha. yesh.. den we ended up playing some hand game for awhile. winfred went aside to sing christian songs to worship for awhile. he looked damn.. sentimental when he went away, sat along and play and sing songs by his own. haha. he looked like some qing sheng. school has been fun.. will study hard too! ace my tests.. (= im back to normal.. wheeee = 2005-05-24 = 6:55 p.m. = i've been fine since after i went to bed dat night i felt everything was wrong. haha. sat night i was at my uncle's house wif kaima, wilson and my parents. den they started talking bout when we were kids. haha. our childhood. and we had a good laugh at everyone's stupidity when we were kids. my uncle said i was the blur-est and silly-est among my cousins. haha. cos i seriously do stupid things that makes them wonder how i could ever do such stuff. and its being remembered til now. haha. its really embarrassing loh. but it really amuses myself talking about it too. haha. school ended exceptionally early today, at 2. but i stayed in school and went to the comp lab to do the cms. beth was actually quite sian and wanted to go home after eating. but she accompanied me to the comp lab cos she had to check her attendance. she wanted to stay only for awhile. but she ended up doing her CMS. she suddenly realised she hasnt done alot of CMS. ok, in fact, she hasn't even went in to do them b4. til today. haha. den she was like, "i can't believe i actually stayed so long to do work.." den i said that i was a good influence. at least i made her do some work. heh. d= she couldn't be bothered wif me. im a weirdo = 2005-05-23 = 1:03 a.m. = im in one of those weird moods.. again. i feel that there's something wrong wif me. and that there's something wrong wif my life. wif my character, my views, my actions, my speech, my everything. anyone ever felt that way? i cant think of the trigger. sigh. basically im not in a good mood. i was, in the day.. it just suddenly swept into me just few minutes ago. was talking about mood swings earlier.. probably im having a mood swing now. i dun scream, i dun shout. i just.. dun feel like talking at all.. im online but i dun feel like talking. or at least to talk about it.. as in the mood swing. i should just go to sleep.. i'll wake up to a nice fresh day tmr. i just needed to say it out somehow, but i din feel like talking to anyone bout it. cos i think its rather stupid. i duno how to explain, cos i dun even understand wads going on. nothing happened. really. nothing to worry about. its probably.. just.. well.. i duno.. haha. weekends are supposed to be happy.. but i find myself not having these kinda moods during weekdays. i guess when im free.. i start thinking alot.. thinking too much. and im a rather pessimistic person.but at the same time, i cheer myself up easily.. haha.. ok, after awhile when i realise there isnt a problem at all.. i'll be fine.feeling beta already.. i should repeat my title to emphasize it again. im such a weirdo. i dun expect anyone to understand me.. when i dun even understand myself.. but if there's someone who understands.. its her. (= i cant think of a title today. = 2005-05-19 = 11:30 p.m. = today was a nice day! as i said, wad happening is really simple. and im feeing simple bout it now. haha. and im so proud i went gym today! but the bunch of them who weren't working out were right outside the gym having a picnic, wif so much snacks! haha.. and we started playing truth or dare. gusni is so on.. haha. and she's a real sport! im so... heh. i think today's jap test went well.. altho i know i din get full marks for my oral. i din realise the difference between the suitcase and bag in the picture. so dumb. but anyway, the written went quite well i think. if nothing goes wrong, passing shouldnt be a problem, its just how well i do. but the thing im worried now is my clinical lab practical next week!!! today winfred did the mock test. crap, its so hard!! i'll be damn nervous! and u know wad happens to me when im nervous. my mind wun be functioning. but i muz be able to work under stress. i muz haf the mentality that someone is assessing me all the time. ms bella said something dat sorta stuck in my mind, "be professional about it". and dats wad im gonna do. (= or at least, try to do. haha. some of my classmates went kbox today, but i cant join them since i've got jap class.. bleah.. wanted to go join them after class.. but.. its too late lah.. so i decided to be a good girl and go home right after class..there will always be another chance. i duno if anything's going in at all. haha. = 2005-05-19 = 12:03 a.m. = futile attempts to study.sigh.im progressing so slowly i forsee myself crashing last minute AGAIN.there's so much info..so many words.i muz really know how to pick out impt pts but at d same time i wanna know every thing.dumb. but this is worse. shant say wad really happened but dat guy's really freaking me out.should i treat him as my fren or wad?but instint tells me dat i should avoid him.S= he really thinks too much la.at first i tot of it as such a joke.but d more he has dat dumb thinking,d more he's gonna...get close to me?n i dun wan dat.so its no longer a joke. d stuff he told beth..d things he does.. really makes me squirm.i wouldn't wanna know wad goes thru his mind.i hope he drops dat silly thinking of his too.he just blew a frenship w his classmate lyk dis loh.i think its so childish. wads happening is rather simple, i think.but wad im feeling is not.haa..but i knöw tmr'll be a normal fine day again. i just hope i dun get winfred involved.n i hope matters stay as they are n slowly disappear.i nv expected things to become d way they r now.its all cos of a troublesome him.pls..no more manifesting of dis. stop there n we'll continue to be happy pple. (= who would have tot such a thing could happen all of a sudden? = 2005-05-17 = 8:33 p.m. = life is so vulnerable. one minute he's sitting there as normal as can be. the next minute he collapses and leaves this world. who would haf tot much of him being a little dreamy during the day? nyp's having more people around lately. cos other schools are starting. good cos nyp's more lively now. but there will be more people in the canteens. im a lazy girl. sick of travelling. really hope he can just send me home everyday. but nah.. feel so bad. its not on the way for him altho its in the same area. haha. oh well.. i'll try loving the bus. as much as wanting to do work or play game on the bus, the natural sleepy effect starts taking place few moments after i get on the bus. bleah. haha. oh well.. some of my classmates thinking of going kbox on thurs. ladies' night so it'll be cheaper. but i've got jap class!!! bleah. guess i wun join them.. sobz. anyway, i've spent enough. time to live a more frudgal life til anything's confirmed at all. i sent out my applications for sponsorship to CGH and NHG. hopefully i'll get replies soon. and hopefully i'll get the sponsorship.. praying hard. and i beta answer all my calls and keep checking my hp from now.. haha. in case they call me for interview. my mum is using e-messenger. and we 're talking online now. hahaaaa.. but that program is rather laggy. i still prefer msn messenger. oh, my mum's still in the office. hahaa.. today was having gastrics in school.. i think that's why i feel so tired now. but i need to study and do some stuff for the presentationS tmr.. bleah. i wanna buy MARTINI!! haha. the bio text seems really helpful. its so hard to borrow that edition from the lib. i'll try my luck tmr. ok, i beta get some work done.. how true do u think this is for me? = 2005-05-15 = 2:57 p.m. =
i finally got my levis jeans!!! = 2005-05-14 = 11:48 p.m. = went for our once a month shopping today wif mum.. at our first stop we spent like over $200 already. haha. and den we walked around for sooo long, went to many places before i found my jeans. haha. its like either i cant find the cutting i like or they dun haf my size. and den finally i bought the one from heeren. if i din remember wrongly, its the first levis jeans i saw in heeren when i first started to look at levis jeans wif the cpf bunch. haha. i went one whole round and i went back to the same place and got the same jeans. but well.. it was a really nice shopping day today! and we spent over $500.. but.. dad struck lottery. haha. $500. so he says he's gonna sponsor my jeans.. wheee... im a lucky girl. i bought my textbook today anyway. cant believe i actually lug the whole thick book around shopping. haha. but at least i can study tmr. just spoke to gwen online. like finally one of the rare times she's online and not busy. really been a long time since we spoke. and as i was telling her, i felt a little insecue bout our frenship. felt so apart from her. felt like our paths that were together split and is going further apart from each other.. but after talking to her. realised our situations and our thinkings are still somewhat similar. our paths split.. but we're still travelling side by side, parallel to each other. i suddenly tot of something. i dun expect myself to say this but.. i wonder if God planned our paths dis way. dat we will travel side by side. dat we learn bout things together. dun ask me if im beginning to believe in His presence. dun ask me if im feeling his presence. i duno. im being influenced by many things, or people. cos i really see how God guide. and i think its really cool when i ask why someone changed(for the better), and they just tell me, its God. it gives me this excited feeling that He really helps. but den again, i do believe that how we think really depends on ourselves and the people around us. whether there is someone planning and controlling such stuff.... and whether dat person is God.. i still dun dare say anything. if u do ask me whether i believe in buddha. and whether buddha's the one planning life and all.. i also dun dare say anything. i'll believe more in.. no one planned anything.. it just occurs like dat. naturally, everyone's life will go though different stages at different ages, where they learn and grow. i remember when me and gwen just got to know each other, when we were not very close yet, she once asked me on the way home on the bus.. dun i ever wonder who created who we are now and who created life. i nv did think of it til she asked that. and once in a long long while since then, i do think bout it. haha. i've still got no idea. and i dun really want ,or rather, feel the need to know. probaby years down the road, i might know, or find the need to know. im such a mixed up person eh? haha. oh well.. im a hidden werido! ~ = 2005-05-14 = 12:09 a.m. =
how sinful i am = 2005-05-13 = 11:54 p.m. =
the present is wad makes the difference in ur life. not ur past. = 2005-05-13 = 7:39 p.m. = i feel much healthier. haha. yesterday we played volleyball, captain's ball and monkey. today we played badminton. haha. my class believes in building up on HDL. but few of us bother bout our LDL. haha. and den the ones who watch their diets sooo well, dun do sports. they only bother bout their LDL and not the HDL. haha. we just learnt wads HDL and LDL.. HDL=good cholestrol, LDL=bad cholestrol. haha. after learning we keep using those 2 terms. d= today i learnt that sometimes people really got a past they wanna hide. and stepping into another school or environment is like flipping to a brand new blank page. we all wanna write another whole new chapter regardless of wad kind of route we took. and i realised that there are some who really wanna hide and not talk bout their past. im surprised he said wad he did. but im wondering if he felt obligated to. as in, did i accidentally start on that topic? i duno lah.. but.. i haf a certain amt of respect for him. for coming to where he is now. but i still duno him well so.. i cant say much. it is really cool and amazing to see how people's faith for God can help them grow and change.i dun deny there are certain things in the bible that are so meaningful. i dun deny that people's faith in God makes them stay in track and be better people. im hungry! but i finished my packet of rice for dinner just now. bleah. im gonna be a pig and haf supper later! wheee.. band people are all around.. haha.. = 2005-05-10 = 10:07 p.m. = i found a french horn fellow player in nyp! haha. and he plays the guitar too! haha. coool.. im not in those emotional mood i used to be.. so nothing much to blog lah. haha. nothing unusual happening lately also. its just school, jap, work and.. well.. nothing much. i even stop chasing after the hk dramas on scv. haha. but.. i wanna get tuner!! i've been saying this since.. i duno how long.. since last year!! i wanna get levis jeans and my class thinking of going malaysia on of the sat to shop too. ahhhh... BUT.. i need to buy a textbook dat costs $75!! and i need to pay for my nursing uniform thats $66 for 3 sets!! crap.. so there goes my savings intended for my jeans. haha. and so i shall save up again for next mth.. atoms molecules etc.. haha.. = 2005-05-08 = 10:54 p.m. = Im studying d chemistry chapter of my bioscience module now.it simply reminded me of chem in jc.haha.i darent say i miss jc chem..poly's chem is much simplified.haha.n it really helps to have taken chem last yr.haha.feels gd to know u had been studying so much of it.but the fact i still failed it...d feeling sux.haha. Dat day during jap class,i learnt something bout jap festival dat i found really interesting.haha.5/5 is boys' day n its a public hol.3/3 is girls' day.it is NOT a public hol.haha.wad does it show bout japan's culture rite.how unfair.haha.sexist.but im sure it aint dat bad now la..or is it? Haha. Happy Mothers' Day to all mothers! Esp my mum. (= i gave her dis moon n star key ring wif engraving of my parents' n my name.there is meaning to why is it moon n star. Heh. Hope u get well soon. am i being too emotional.... = 2005-05-01 = 2:33 a.m. = i cant really remember wad i typed last time. so i shant bother recalling or re-writing. sometimes certain matters of the heart are quite perplexing eh? haha. makes people not understand their very own feelings or actions. u cant really describe it either. haha. looking at people say and do some stuff is rather interesting.. u start wondering and noticing yourself as well. u feel like u can understand or relate to them. but at the same time, u dun think so. ha. oh well.. i realised how my blogging style has changed. it used to be ambiguous. i dun exactly say wads going on, but i just say some of my feelings. i realised that i blog for a certain person to read. when i first started out, i knew the only person who would really reply or react to my blog entries will be aubrey. so i dun really explain anything. she knows wad im talking bout. and den.. as i left sec sch.. i blogged in a way where everyone should be able to know wads going on in my life. cos i was blogging for my frens who were so distant from me. den after dat.. as i left jc.. i realised i was blogging for him to read. i knew he will wanna know wads going on im my life. and now.. im not blogging for anyone in particular. just blogging as a way of release. for myself.. like sometimes i just wanna talk bout wads going on in my life. and i dun exactly talk to anyone alot now so i blog. and it clears my tots sometimes. (= i duno.. but im quite afraid of being close to anyone in particular. i duno why lah. or probably i feel contented wif my frens now. im not searching for a .. how do u call that.. a fren to haf heart talks wif. i've got gwen. i really duno if we are growing distant. seeing people grow distant makes me sad and scared. but no matter wad.. i love gwen.. she taught me many things. makes me who i am now. she's the fren whom i haf that special bond wif. gwen, i miss u. i miss those letters we write everyday. those calls we had. but of cos, she aint the only one who made differences to my life. if i were to blog bout everyone who made a diffence.. i duno when i will end. weirds. why am i being so.. how do u say it? haha. why am i reminscing the past so much all of a sudden? i get this detached feeling when i dun haf a good conversation wif someone for too long. but having such conversations too often makes me drained too. anyone get wad kind of conversation im talking bout? haha. i think im having that kinda feeling now. havent had a real good conversation wif anyone thats why i start thinking of gwen. haha. i'll probably write to her or drop her a line soon. and blogging sure do help. ohhh.. baolun! i wrote u a letter! but i realised that i blogged quite alot of stuff dat might be repeated in the letter. heh. i'll post the letter soon ya. i think i sound stupid. haha. nvm. sch's still rather slack. but seeing SBM people playing games makes me think that SHS is so boring. crap. haha. really get the feeling that pushing us to quickly study and get into the hospitals. my dad's changed. such a changed person. if it is really cos of his age, its really freaky how one can change wif the yrs.. suddenly i see and understand why old people haf certain character that younger people dun haf. like different generation got different psychology. and u need to use different communication skills to get through them. crap = 2005-04-30 = 1:01 a.m. = crap. i wrote dis rather long entry. i duno wad i did its all gone now. lazy to recall n rewrite. sob. oh well.. another time perhaps. (= - = 2005-04-28 = 10:32 a.m. = oh my gosh...i cant believe dis.im on d bus rite now,n im blogging. d= seriously awed by technology..well,but d thing is i duno how GPRS charges.wait til i buy wifi card n use wireless.i cant belif im blogging.i can even use msn.haha.so exciting!! act i've got lotsa stuff i wanna blog since monday.im so happy to be able to meet dap!had fun n she sorta reminded me of last yr,how much life has changed.she was always willing to listen to me.i'll be here for u too dap! hope everything will turn out fine lyk mine did.but i do know it takes alot of courage to do something that seems so easy - talking. i bought mum a magic egg on mon.i just passed to her last night.haha.i'll update bout d egg here k dap? i'll take photos too! haha. a plant will grow outta d egg. d leaf will bear d some wordings.haha. during clinical lab on tues we learnt to take BP.its as simple as taking BP and i still duno how to take! S= i cant feel d pulse! n i cant hear anything from d stethescope. bleah. i felt so lousy after dat. haha. okie..i beta stop using d GPRS.haha...i'll blog again! dumb and blur = 2005-04-21 = 8:54 a.m. = i felt so stupid yesterday. cos i did 2 dumb things. haha. i woke up soooo early at 6, to go school by 8, to realise that my first lesson has been converted to elesson, meaning that there wasnt a lesson and the next lesson was at 11!! i could have woken up bout 3 hours later! blur me din realise that the subject time table state that it is a e-lesson. DUMB. but i felt i spent my time well.. studied and did jap hw, went lib and did the ws we were supposed to do using that THICK book that reminded me of an encyclopedia. haha. so guai rite? d= let's see how long this can last. at least i found this group who's willing to go work. yay. the next dumb thing i did: so after school i had to sort of rush to work.but actually i could haf time to like go home and put down my stuff, den go work.but i overslept on the bus!! missed 2 stops.. so i walked back.. couldnt go home, but i reached work on time. but i guess i was a little tired out by the journey, i was rather stone at ig's today. i din really bother pushing sales or asking customers if they need any help. so ming, his first time working wif me in the shop told philo im not familiar wif the things in the shop. bleah. it kinda made me feel bad. i shall concentrate more in future. jilun was saying im like so occupied, school, work, japanese. i hope i can cope and wun tire myself. aaron said he knows i know my limits and will drop something when i feel the need to. thanks for having the faith in me.. hah.. i believe i'll know my limits lah.. but at the same time i wun wanna give up anything so easily (esp jap). i'll prob drop work first.. moreover i wanna join cca too.. but that has gotta wait til bout may or june.. when the other schools have settled down in nyp. we see school of business people enjoying their 3 days orientation, really getting to know each other and things like dat. sch of health sciences (shs)'s orientation only a day and its so boring and useless. dumb. its like rushing us to start school.oh well.. im still enjoying school lah.. quite slack.. with all the breaks.. eating and eating.. haha.. my classmates were like," priscilla, why u get hungry easily? u eat so much and u wun get fat" cos the day before, we had 3 breaks, outta 3, 2 we ate and i ate rice for both meals. one is lunch and the other, i guess its breakfast. haha. dun ask me why im so hungry lately.. when sometimes i'll just not eat at all..but.. i guess food is convenient and easy to get when im in school so i'll eat. hahaha. mummy was telling me not to eat so much now that i haf so many breaks. dun spend so much money and dun become fat. haha. wads wif the fat issue?? oh well, school's starting at 12, im supposed to do my elesson now. haha. it's nice talking to u..(= started school! = 2005-04-18 = 4:02 p.m. = i was lazy to blog. but decided to since today should be a day that marks a new chapter in my life. but before dat, i should probably talk about the orientation. or probably i should be bothered at all. haha. cos it was SOOO boring. and im still pretty lost in the school lah. i can easily get lost in the shs block alone, let alone the other parts of the school. ok, not like i will go to the other parts of the school. haha. but it makes me kinda miss jc orientation, where there is so much life and so-called bonding. like at least u feel more belonging to the school. haha. but of cos i understand that poly is different from jc. anyway, first day of school: i think im in this clique of 4, including me that is. we move around together, went to eat and get books together.. yupp.. but i duno how they are like still.. but so far so good lah.. like they seem friendly and all. i was late for my first lesson. ha. wad a good student i am rite? haha. BUT its not my fault. i din know my class til bout 9.15? class started at 9. NYP's students' affairs were flooded wif pple demanding to know their class and where to go. its like the bunch of lost sheeps gathered together lah. den the admin stuff were frantically trying to SEARCH for the enrollment forms to enrol them on the spot if there arent any problems. how dumb. and i stood there for over an hr. all they ask me is to sit down and wait. but i didnt. i remained at the counter. cos i would most probably be forgotten if i just sat down and WAIT. nonsense. and after dat, one smart staff FINALLY checked the computer and realised that i was ALREADY enrolled. wasted my time. so i rushed to class. it was sociology.. quite cool.. had some discussions lah.. but it felt like i was having cme lessons. haha. ms trina is funny. haha. she's so dramatic. when i went for my clinical lab lecture, i was staring at all the notes and slides. and den i found myself asking myself if im really gonna do this. its a super different feeling from academic lectures i had in mj or tkgs. i mean, basically, its the same. the lecture speaks, students listen or take notes. i was staring and listening to terms dat were so alien. all those biological/ medical terms they use to refer to stuff. i think wad really made me feel different was the fact that u can imagine urself applying the stuff u learn at work. like u cant really imagine urself applying, let's say differentiation or organic chem, at work or anything like dat? its like training u to work. oh gosh. so it ends up like studying for the sake of studying and passing exams. but now, i feel like im studying for the sake of putting it into work. aiyoh. i duno how to say. does anyone understand me? haha. anyway, i had another lecture on biological science. talking bout all those bio stuff, different parts of the body.. oh man.. bio.. haha.. im taking wad i like. heh. im still looking forward to school. for now, i need to study jap! so yupp.. take care my frens.. missing all of u.. sometimes i really duno how to think of titles.. haha.. = 2005-04-15 = 9:46 a.m. = finally, after buzzing around for the past 2 days.. i settled my enrollment stuff. just gotta go drop it at nyp later. i realised i havent been going to school/ studying/ being a student for about half a yr! dats so long.. hmm.. now i shall look back and see wad i haf done.. i worked, i spent, i slacked, i did cross stitch for baolun, i made frens, i made my mum my fren, i met my old frens.. ok lah.. i dun think it is wasted lah. i see a net saving in my account at least. haha. whee~ i've reached my target of $2000. heh. but i wanna go shopping, i wanna buy clothes. actually i wanna buy jeans, bottoms.. actually i want tops too.. ahhh.. save save save.. oh, but i decided that probably i wun buy a bag after all.. i still like my billabong one. haha. bout 3 yrs already. heh. im a lucky girl, i get wad i want. it helps to want something reachable and work towards it. but not forgetting i've got parents who love me alot. d= i've got the o2 mini! im scheduled for work later. slacking too much makes me not wanna work. but i know i want a little income. and working at ig's aint that tiring anyway, comparing it to waitressing.. haha.. misunderstandings are bad. DUH. haha. but im glad when misunderstandings are cleared. another DUH. haha. im glad i din lose a fren cos of it. thats y one must always not jump into conclusions by just hearing wad others say bout him or her. but of cos, do heed advices too lah. dun dismiss certain warnings people have about the person. hmm, its quite a tough world eh? guess most of the stuff basically depends on yourself, how u choose wad are the constructive comments, wad arent. haha. ohh.. i saw josephine's nick and i felt it was sooo interesting: 'if the world didn't suck, we'll all fall off.' hahaha. true, aint it? haha. harsh, unexpected and undeniable = 2005-04-14 = 12:28 a.m. = sometimes things can turn out to be so unexpected. so unexpected u will need time to accept. i found myself searching for reason to tell myself its not so bad. but something at the back of my mind is telling me to face and accept the cold hard fact of the results. sigh. i duno if any of my jnrs are reading my blog. so i shant say much. cos im sure they are feeling terrible enough. too much to say to really express my sadness over this damn thing. sigh. tell me bout the results, tell me bout the ccas. even choir din get honours. crap. tkgs is going downhill. it hurts to say this man. whhy?? dammit. ARGHHHHH!!! does anyone understand my anguish here? i want a hug. nyp stuff = 2005-04-12 = 6:00 p.m. = diaryland is getting jammed up more and more often. sad. yesterday i went to RJ's concert. before that i was supposed to meet the cpf people to play pool. but i stood them up cos baolun decided to meet me instead of staying back in school. cos she has to deliver ms sia's baton. haha. so we went back to tkgs.. and im really so proud of the juniors!! they sound GREAT. hah. they practised hard and improved so much. me and baolun kinda felt inferior listening to them. haha. wonder how did they do for syf. syf sorta becomes more of an examination rather den a competition. sad. cos now there is no more finals. it is the honours stuff. i was so happy to actually see minhui!! i was totally not expecting to see her. its been sooo long since we last met or even talk. dat girl always dun reply my sms or msg online. but her reaction when she saw me was kinda surprising. makes me wonder why she always dun reply me. haha. i really miss her alot. it felt good to suddenly see her appear in front of me. gave each other a nice big hug. haha. it was nice seeing alicia too! in tkgs. really havent seen her since.. beginning of last year? yeah.. dats so long. haha. meeting jiejun was superbly nice too.. but that girl looked so stress, i cant help but worry for her. jiejun, if u r reading this(which i doubt so), cheer up k?? im here for u.. drop me a line or email.. just like u did the other time. ok.. basically yesterday was such a band-filled day. haha. RJ band is good. could hear minor mistakes here and there but their balance and dynamics are very GOOD. baolun got kinda stressed listening to them. haha. could tell poor baolun was rather tired and stressed.. but she cant really help it.. A levels.. sigh. but i really feel bad bout standing cpf pple up. im sorrieee.. and today, i made it worse. they planned to go for cycling. BUT, in the morning, i got an unexpected call from NYP asking me to go down and pick up my enrollment package. i tot i was able to make it back. but i realised i had to go for medical check-up by today. so i stood them up AGAIN. so paiseh.. and so now owe siang hong 3 favours. cos he helped me collect some stuff that i left at the chalet. aiyoh.. im gonna be broke tmr when i meet them for pool. we're still meeting everyday. haha. anyway.. so i met my mum who took half day. met dad, uncle edmund and uncle charlie for lunch. uncle edmund and charlie is really like.. retired. not working. den they were like, im so busy i can fetch anyone anywhere. haha. good life. my poor dad still has to work. oh well.. anyway, when i got home i realised i didnt take my hepB test. how irritating. now im kinda worried.. beta go do it tmr. argh. duno when will i get the report. but i will get my medical report on thurs. gotta submit my stuff by friday. and saturday is the orientation. one day only. haha. everyhting seems so rushed. extremely rushed. gosh. i'll resume my student life on monday! im excited.. and scared at the same time. bleah. hope i'll make nice frens there. im officially a student again! = 2005-04-11 = 2:37 p.m. = FINALLY!!!!! im not hanging anymore!! wheeeee.. im a NYP nursing student! haha. yayyy~ school starts next week. yipee! haha. nihon e ikitai desu! = 2005-04-11 = 10:24 a.m. = 10th April 2005: HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY BAOLUN! haha. i din blog yesterday, so yupp.. 11th April 2005: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LJ! if im not wrong, LJ's birthday should be today. haha. actually i realised something. he doesnt read my blog. haha. typing april makes my heart sink. a quarter of the year has passed! so quickly.. i've been slacking for the first quarter of the year. haha. lia got discharged yesterday. guess she's fine. but when i visited her on saturday, she was still having fever. i saw her graph, her temperature goes up and down and up and down at regular intervals. hope she's doing ok now. yesterday we went to pay respects to my grandfather. the crowd and the smoke was horribleeee.. i was tearing like crazy and my eyes hurt for the whole day. after dat we went to IMM. cos kaima wanted to get that magnetic bracelet dat dad and mum has. it is believed to improve blood circulation. to think we went all the way to IMM eh. haha. i din go to band world, heh, but we went to daiso.. and we spent eons in there. and.. i LOVE that place. it so reminded me of JAPAN~~ . i remember in japan we went to this 100 yen shop. in other words, all the items are at $1.60. but at daiso, all itmes are at $2. but they've got lots of jap stuff. stuff dat we would be able to find in the japan 100 yen shop. i remember it was from there we found the french horn chopsticks.. wad do u call it? those small little block of thing dat supports the chopsticks, usually placed beside your bowl when u eat.. anyone know wad is it called? haha. anyway, i knew our section swept that whole basket of stuff. how can we not buy such french horn stuff rite. they are hard to find. haha. ohh.. talking bout french horn stuff. i was at J8 and i saw this poster of this shop. it was this model hugging a french horn!! i snapped a pic wif my hp.. its super nice!! hha.. fortunately hp has cams eh. haha. i wanted to send to baolun.. but realised that she lost her hp and is not using a mms hp. sigh. haha. later shall show her since im meeting her later for the RJ concert. anyway.. i got too engrossed snapping the poster i forgot to take a look at the name of the shop, i only know it sells clothes. haha. sad rite? d= haha. back to daiso.. when we first step into the shop, my mum say.. ok, lets haf a budget of $10. den we saw more and more stuff dat we wanted. so my mum was like, ok, each haf a budget of $10. dat will be $30 in all lah. haha.. guess wads the total bill. $68. haha. dats like twice of our budget. so much for a budget eh? haha. but i think we started to not care bout the budget by time we reach the food section. cos my mum alone took like 4-5 packets of nuts. i took some tidbits and some jap rice and sauce for lunch later! haha. its like, at every different section, we spend bout $6-10. haha. so dat adds up.. honestly.. i dun exactly regret the buy. d= cos i like the stuff. d= but that time at japan, we went when there was little crowd. so it was like the bunch of tkgssb girls shopping in a whole departmental store alone. haha. we almost had it to ourselves. it was so shiok. haha. daiso's kinda crowded. hah. ok lah. enough bout daiso. let me update u bout my status: im still not a NYP student. and school is supposedly to start on 18 April. excellent right?? dat is next wk. oh my.. next wk.. haha. its really dat soon. im excited!! d= hope they confirm my placing soon. whee! get well soon my dear lia.. = 2005-04-09 = 12:12 a.m. = finally able to enter an entry.. bleah.. lost quite abit of my blogging mood. let me see.. wad did i wanted to blog.. ok.. today i worked full shift at ig's. that is, 12.30 to 9.30(supposedly). but i worked til 10. i like tabulating the accounts! haha. somehow its fun. haha. today i did a little of housekeeping. and it is weird. its either the shop is empty wif no one. or all the customers will come in together. there were certain points in time where they will start asking u lots of questions and queue up at the cashier to buy stuff, ask u to wrap stuff.. but its fun when u are busy. cos time passes very quickly. all of a sudden, me and philo(my boss) realised its 8+ already. both of us thought it was 6 or 7+ only. haha.. but its fun working there. lalala.. today's sales were good.. philo was happy with it. haha. greaTs. im starting to like sales. darn.. i wanna take marketing. haha. oh.. did i mention, that day i was at uncle steve's hse. they were talking bout this business plan.. den i was conributing my ideas and was basically part of the dicussion. den uncle steve was like.. u should take business! u've got quite a business mind to be able to be on par and talk business with us. and u gif sensible and constructive comments. den my mum was like, nono, dun get influenced, concentrate on giving pple jabs. hahaa.. i'll be happy in nursing too. more satisfying. (= sometimes i wonder if im just trying to psycho myself or something. like did i just take nursing cos.. of the sponsorship? but my mum was like asking me dun take the sponsorship so that i can continue wif my degree immediately instead of serving 3-yrs bond first. i took nursing.. cos i dun wanna get that helpless feeling i get when i see others in need of medical help. i wanna be that light pple see when they are at their vulnerable point. anyway, business is something nv too late to start i believe. haha. philo star |
